Connecting with Family

The Barriers:

• Sometimes when somebody lives far away (be it across the country or overseas) you may find it hard to connect because of time zones or the fact that you don’t know them very well.

• Connecting over virtual mediums can sometimes not be very engaging and seem dry.

• Even if somebody is close and very accessible, you may not know them well or what to talk about. Especially if there’s a generational difference, you may feel like the family member doesn’t understand you.

• We get caught up in our ‘busy’ lives, and it seems like we have too many family members to keep track of, let alone stay in touch with.

Our Tips:

• Find common ground – if you can’t relate to somebody, find something you both share. Maybe it’s a story about your mom, or your love for baking or knitting. That gets the conversation going and makes things less awkward.

• Ask them questions – SubhanAllah we don’t know how long any family member will be with us on this earth. When you talk you get the opportunity to learn about their life experiences, childhood, and life lessons. After somebody has left us you’ll lose the chance to know what your grandmother’s childhood was like, how your aunt fell in love, or how your cousin got close to Islam. Also, people generally love to share things about their life. After you learn something special about them, you’ll continue to grow and have a special bond.

• Especially if you have a very large family, it feels like you don’t have time to catch up with everybody. One way is to have a larger gathering or a group video call. That way you get to touch base with many people at the same time

• Do an activity! Whether its ice skating, going to the mall, attending a Halaqa together, or eating together; doing an activity always makes things more fun!

• Space it out and keep your connections consistent. Although texting a cousin everyday for a month is nice; it’s much better though to do every other week for a year. You would essentially be touching base the same number of times (30 vs 25)

• Make sure to text and call all the family on Ramadan and Eid! It’s a wonderful way to reconnect and you get extra good deeds for connecting with family during Ramadan! And for those who can, you can all get together and have a great time!